Friday, December 2, 2011

American nightmare

"Hes really living the life"

" Uh hes living A life, not THE life"

Thursday, December 1, 2011

too old

you want to hang out at 5am on a weeknight? try fucking a teenager.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

dream big

good job, you went from fucking the opener to the headliner.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


Most dudes in Baltimore act like their penis:
they are either a big dick or a little weenie

Thursday, August 18, 2011


that wasn't an insult I yelled, i was just calling him by his last name.

maybe you should know that before going home with him.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Too late

If you are over 30 the only reason you should be texting someone at 4 in the morning is if you are on another continent


I know what you did last summer, and I know WHO you did THIS summer

Internet 101

You cant be sneaky on the internet if you haven't mastered how to clear your history


Dont look at that crust punk crazy, there is only 10 minutes left of this open bar, OF COURSE he's going to order 6 drinks


Just cause you like the fire water dosen't mean you are native american